By B.J. Reyes
Rest easy, fellow patriots!
The Political Radar has gotten to the bottom of something (that we suspected might have been) rotten, right here in Honolulu.
We’re talking, of course, about the (allegedly) lawless group known as the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now, or ACORN.
When news of the ACORN scandal on the mainland broke, we decided to check out the local chapter, just to make sure that there was nobody helping pimps and prostitutes set up shop to evade taxes on our shores. And we certainly wanted to make sure there were no low-level ACORN employees committing unreported murders in Hawaii Nei.
Realizing it was only a matter of time before intrepid filmmakers James O’Keefe and Hannah Giles made their way to Honoluolu, we decided to beat them to the punch.
Guerilla journalism? Maybe.
Sensationalist coverage? Perhaps.
Doing our patriotic duty? Absolutely!
First, we located the state office, via the national ACORN site:
Armed with our own hidden camera, better known as my BlackBerry, we infiltrated the location:
We have them now!
Alas, just as we are about to spring into action, we come across Suite 106:
Fortunately, that means the streets of Hawaii — not to mention the halls of Democracy — are safe from such a rogue outfit!
(Actually, we tried the phone number and the e-mail address, both of which were no longer active. A neighbor of the would-be Suite 106 says ACORN hasn’t been in the office for several years, and checks of other local activist types indicate no presence of the group here that anyone can recall.)