May 16th, 2012

Keith Rollman, who is working on former state lawmaker and attorney John Carroll’s Republican primary campaign for U.S. Senate, has some fun with former Gov. Linda Lingle over on his Atomic Monkey parody site.

Rollman portrays Lingle, the leading Republican candidate for Senate, as a robot during her speech last weekend at the state GOP convention. The former governor often cites her advocacy for robotics programs in public schools as one of the accomplishments of her two terms as governor. Some of her critics — usually the ones envious of her communications skills — have also likened her message discipline to robotics.

The Carroll campaign was salty that Carroll was not given comparable time to address the state convention.

From Atomic Monkey:

At last weekend’s Republican Convention, U.S. Senatorial Candidate Linda Lingle seemed to suffer a catastrophic technical failure only five minutes into her prepared keynote speech.

Just a few minutes into her dissertation on the need for more robotics-based industry in Hawaii a large patch of Ms Lingle face appeared to flop down.  At that point she removed her glove which revealed a large mechanical hand and began to paw at her face, making things worse, and uncovering more electronics and mechanized underpinnings.

At this point her media advisor, Lenny Klompus, placed a blanket over her and dragged her offstage. Within a couple of minutes, Mr Ted Liu appeared with another Linda Lingle, wearing a slightly different suit, who began her speech from the beginning, and continued for 20 minutes, after Mr. Liu made some adjustments to the back of her head.

21 Responses to “Robotic”

  1. Goober:

    More like a marionette with unions and donators to her campaign pulling strings.

  2. Doug:

    Wha? Which union(s) supports Lingle?

    Oh, and you meant “donors,” Goober.

  3. mkz:

    This is outrageous and disgusting,, and the Keith Rollman should be ashamed of himself. NO matter the candidate, this type of vitriol has no place in Hawaii politics. It is not funny, unless you live your own world were attacking others is your daily activity. Rollman has rolled over himself and shown that he doesn’t understand Hawaii values. Shame!

  4. MissedtheBoat:

    Keith Rollman’s article is disgusting. His writing is just a glimpse of why voters should not even consider John Carroll. To think that John Carroll picked this clown as his Campaign Manager is scary. I wonder what other bright ideas Carroll has in that head of his?
    Oh and I guess Keith and John don’t think the robotics program in Hawaii is a good idea. We should probably just send them to the Rollman/Carroll School of Failed Political Campaigns.

  5. Again?:

    Really? Again? We have to deal with Rollman’s Atomic Monkey again? Didn’t we get enough of his skewed humor in 2010 during the Mufi/Neil race?

    Depledge hit it when he said “ones envious of her communications skills” lob these ridiculous attacks. With that said, I am surprised this is even being discussed in the Star-Advetiser’s reputable blog. Rollman deserves to be relegated to the extreme blogosphere where he belongs.

  6. Psychotherapy:

    I’m sorry you’ve mistaken her for a union paid democratic politician.

  7. Atomic Monkey:

    When Ms Lingle saw Senator Sam Slom sitting at the John Carroll booth, she fired at him with some sort of laser beam weapon. Thankfully she missed.

  8. HaleiwaJoe:

    Enough already! Someone must have put their cranky pants on this morning.

    It’s satire folks!

    Thank goodness there is a little action in the GOP primary otherwise we’d all be forced to only listen to Hirono and Case drone on for weeks.

  9. Corrie Heck:

    The disgusting cartoon and fictional story being promoted by the Atomic Monkey website has no place in Hawaii politics.  John Carroll and his political operative, Keith Rollman – who runs the despicable website – should be ashamed of themselves for aligning with and promoting such disrespectful and offensive commentary at a time when the election of our national leaders could not be more important.  The fictional piece doesn’t represent Hawaii values.  Shame on them. -Corrie Heck, Deputy Communications Director, Linda Lingle Senate Committee

  10. Auto De Fe:

    Rollman is same clown who (working for Mufi) did those cartoons of Ben Cayetano secretly controlling Abercrombie’s brain….

  11. Keith Rollman:

    For those of you unaware of U.S. Constitution, political satire is.protected free speech. If you don’t like, don’t look at it. Problem solved! This also works for Bill Mahr.@

  12. Ken Conklin:

    I wish there were a conservative Republican to vote for — someone who opposes the Akaka bill and the Jones Act. Oh wait … there is one. John Carroll. Unfortunately he doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in Honolulu. Lingle will be the Republican candidate.

    Although I’m politically conservative, I’m hoping people will vote Democrat in November against both Lingle and Djou. The reason is the Akaka bill. I believe the Akaka bill would be such a disaster for Hawaii that opposing it is more important than all other issues combined. Read my book in the library: “Hawaiian Apartheid: Racial Separatism and Ethnic Nationalism in the Aloha State” or read parts of it for free on the internet at

    All the Dem and all the Repub candidates for U.S. House and Senate, except John Carroll, favor the Akaka bill. So why vote Dem? Because the only reason the Akaka bill has not been passed is because for 12 years Republicans have blocked it. Lingle and Djou have repeatedly said that as Republicans they will be able to persuade their fellow Republicans to stop blocking it. I believe they’re correct about that. Therefore I urge all who oppose the Akaka bill to vote for the Dem nominee for U.S. Senate and House in November. Because the Republicans in Congress will never pay attention to what any Democrat from Hawaii tells them about the Akaka bill. Especially a far-left Democrat like crazy Mazie will be ignored.

    It’s important for Hawaii Republicans to punish Lingle and Djou this fall for supporting the Akaka bill, so that in future years the Republicans might actually nominate real Republicans instead of a mealy-mouth “bipartisan” Democrat-lite RINO. Republicans need to do in Hawaii what they did a few days ago in Indiana, and get rid of the RINO to make way for a genuine conservative.

  13. Atomic Monkey:

    Ms Heck – Let’s not get carried away, satire is pretty always “fictional” no matter how much it flirts with the truth. We should consider reassigning some of the other barbs you’re flinging around…”disgusting” could also be applied to someone taking over a state party apparatus and turning into their personal campaign organization. Many viewed “those who run such despicable” conventions, and block non-anointed candidates from speaking, as “disrespectful and offensive” to a long time kama‘aina, 5-term state legislator and past Chairman of the Republican Party, John Carroll. An online political satire blog isn’t supposed to “represent Hawaii values,” but the Republican Party of Hawaii should. “Shame” on you, little Lingle Bot, “Shame” on you.

  14. EZ There Corrie:

    The problem with Lingle is the people she has surrounded herself with. Corrie Heck (who has been in Hawaii all of five minutes now) presumes to inform the rest of us heathens exactly what does not have a “place in Hawaii politics” or what “doesn’t represents Hawaii values.” After all, she is such a kama`aina you know. When Lingle loses, please go back to the mainland Corrie – and take Klompus with you when you go!

  15. Goober:

    lingle supports the Akaka Bill but she is a rino or neocon.

  16. Goober:

    Doug, donor as in giving blood? Donating as in bribing. “Wha?”

    Tell me which union or unions do not. Assumptions and approximations do not make facts till proven and done. Larry Mehau as a name of one.

  17. ConcernedCitizen:

    It is reported that the Dalai Lama said, “Keep your friends close… and your enemies closer.” That means we all need to hug Keith Rollman, whether friend or foe. Keith, isn’t it great how you’ve finally provoked a response and atomic monkey isn’t so lonely anymore? Take care, and be good to yourself and others.

  18. Goober:

    “Practice what you preach”

  19. Maneki Neko:

    Political satire has a rich tradition that must be protected. The only thing wrong here is that Rollman’s stuff is just so….so….lousy. If there were any talent or redeeming value through humor or incisiveness we’d all laugh along. But such “dreck” that Rollman puts out is indeed offensive because of poor quality, not political slant. But leopards don’t change their spots and the Mufi sock puppet proves the old adage.

  20. Atomic Monkey:

    Maneki Neko (widlely rumored to be Eric Ryan) – Good political satire makes 70% of the people laugh and 30% demand that the First Amendment be be waived so that the author can be jailed. I will repeat my often stated position: If you don’t like AM don’t look at it; I can’t control your computer.

  21. Goober:

    Is a sock puppet indigenous to Hawaii?

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