Ultimate crossover: The Disney-Marvel deal

August 31st, 2009

Okay, so the big news today is that Disney bought Marvel for $4 billion. And they didn’t even wait until Wednesday, traditionally new comics day at comics stores, to pull the trigger on the deal!

The merger has an immense number of possibilities. High School Musical 4: Ultimate Spider-Man Edition, written by Brian Michael Bendis? Hellooooooo, profits! But when I first heard the news, a few other ideas immediately sprung to mind, ones more suited to Otaku Ohana’s otaku-based roots. DisVel (or should it be MarNey?), if you use any of these ideas, my royalty fees are negotiable.

Imagine this cover, except with a whole bunch more characters on it.Marvel vs. Capcom vs. Disney vs. Pixar vs. Ghibli vs. Squenix: New New NEW Age of Heroes. Pit Team John Ratzenberger (Monsters Inc.’s Abominable Snowman, A Bug’s Life’s P.T. Flea, The Incredibles’ Underminer) against Team Incredibly Overhyped (Ryu, Wolverine, Sephiroth)! How would Team Cute (Kairi, Totoro, Tron Bonne with a legion of Servbots) fare against Team Technically Dead But We Keep Bringing Back These Characters Because Fans Love ‘Em So Much (Charlie, Aerith, Captain America)? Perhaps you’d like to see how Team Fluttering Capes (Vincent Valentine, Darkwing Duck, Dr. Doom) would fare against the Fireballin’ Fools (Howl with Calcifer, Akuma, the Human Torch)! Or engage the new Battle Royale mode and choose as many of the 1,065 characters to battle it out as you wish! The only problem is that I picture something like the Marvel vs. Capcom 2 opening sequence, where the characters appearing in the game go scrolling past — with a game like MvCvDvPvGvS, this scroll would take at least 15 minutes to complete. Oh, and the Sentinel would still be a horrifically unbalanced character who crushes any opponent that faces him.

This cover image does not convey how convoluted Kingdom Hearts' backstory gets.Kingdom Hearts 3: Age of Apocalypse Over 358/2 Days. The Heartless become a minor concern to Keyblade wielders when Apocalypse comes to Traverse Town and promptly toasts everything to a nice extra tasty crispy blackened husk. Now, Sora and his friends must hop onto the Avengers’ Quinjet (because come on, gummi ships are sooooooo 2007) and battle this Ultimate Evil Who Threatens the Universe for the 5,120,391,879,291th time in a Japanese RPG-esque game. In the process, they’ll also travel to worlds they never imagined they’d see: New York City! Latveria! Professor Charles Xavier’s mansion! Whatever alternate universe Peter Porker, the Amazing Spider-Ham, lives in! And through it all, Sora will discover the true meaning of friendship and love. At least, that’s what I think he learns … the franchise’s back story got really confusing after Chain of Memories. But hey, Organization XIII and Wolverine make appearances … helloooooooo, fanboy/fangirl merchandising opportunities! (Oh, and here’s a spoiler alert: Goofy and Donald Duck die but are replaced by Neo-Goofy — Goofy’s son Max from Goof Troop dressed up in the hat and overalls costume — and The Don, an amalgamation of Huey, Dewey and Louie infused with mutant shape-shifting superpowers.)

Marvel's Nausicaa also would be a bit more ... *top-heavy*, I fear.The dream creator crossover. Okay, so this one seems highly unlikely considering how Disney only distributes what Studio Ghibli puts out and doesn’t have any say in the studio’s creative process. And former “Make Mine Marvel” true believer Stan Lee’s been more of a free agent for hire as of late.  But just imagine the possibilities of … Hayao Miyazaki Presents: The X-Men. Or how about What If … Stan Lee Wrote Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind?!? Granted, the former would take Marvel’s merry mutants and pit them against forces of an environment slowly being destroyed by mankind’s pollution and oh my pizza we must do something before it’s too late, soot sprites would make their long-awaited return cameo in the Danger Room, and Beast would be a giant Totoro. And the latter would probably toss all hints of subtlety in favor of more “BIFFS!” “POWS!” and “BAWHOOOOOOMS.” But hey, it’s fun to speculate about such things, right?

2 Responses to “Ultimate crossover: The Disney-Marvel deal”

  1. AniMatsuri:

    One thing’s for sure, Marvel finally has a big time backer like DC has had for decades now.

  2. parv:

    I would take Stan Lee’s version than Miyazaki’s. Rather, I would prefer Satoshi Kon’s take on (super) hero(ine)s|villians, best if it is abnormal|psychological kind.

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